Valentine’s day has been celebrated for centuries, in modern day it is widely celebrated as a day for lovers. It’s not foreign to see people all over showering each others with gifts. Most commonly women are bestowed with gifts of flowers and chocolates while being wined and dined with hopes of men being obliged with lingerie and good lovin. Valentine’s day is a day filled with love and fuzzy feelings, unless you are an unhappily single girl. For every girl happily anticipating what her boo has planned, there are several more angry, bitter, and/or sad about the holiday. Years ago, I was one of these girls. I’d commune with my fellow members of the Lonely Hearts Club licking wounds from lovers past and moping about the fact that I was alone for yet another year. On years where I had recently experienced a love gone sour I’d literally cry about not having a Valentine. I wasted quite a few years having meltdowns and pity parties over Valentine’s day.
Somewhere in my early 20’s after wasting a few of years I decided that I’d had enough. I was not going to continue to feel sorry for myself and wallow in a pool of self-pity every year. I refused to continue to allow myself to feel reduced in worth simply because someone didn’t buy me some candy and take me on a date. It was a self-destructive attitude to have and nothing positive came from it. I always felt worse about myself and where I was in my life and it put horrible vibrations into the universe. Once I meditated on this for a while I picked up the phone and called my friend and made a declaration, “I’m abolishing Valentine’s day.”
“What?!? You’re crazy,” my friend laughed back at me. “How are you going to do that?” I’m pretty sure she thought that I had lost my marbles. “I’m done with this pity part every year and feeling bad about myself. This is stupid and I’m not doing it anymore. I’m abolishing Valentine’s day. In my world it doesn’t exist.” With that I threw away every negative feeling that I had been struggling with and never looked back. As the years progressed I stayed very single and though I struggled with other things, V-day was no longer a trigger for me. I blocked it out to the point that, even today, if no one mentions it, it’s not really a thought. In my last relationship, I really had to work hard to get into the festivities and honestly, I don’t remember how we celebrated the occasion. It’s just no longer important.
I say all of this to say, SINGLE’S STOP PUNISHINGYOURSELVES!!! Yes not having a Valentine’s can suck if that’s what you consider important to have, but it’s not depression worthy. I’d much rather have a meaningful relationship with someone than have a date and gifts just because of a day on the calendar. Rather than place your energy on what you feel you’re missing out on grab a couple of friends and have a night out on the town. Enjoy yourself and buy your own damn chocolates and flowers because no one should be able to outdo you loving you. Keep a smile and a positive attitude and before you know it you’ll have a man showering you with gifts and you’ll be obliging with some lovin too lol. (((Huggies)))
P.S. Readers that have overcome Vday blues, how did you do it? Share a thought in the comment section.