One thing my daddy taught me growing up is that if a man really wants you then he’ll do what he has to do to get you. I believed him for a long time until I came across “him,” “he” changed the game and I.A.E.N.O. LOL. When we first started dating we both we were both fresh out of some situations (mines ugly of course) and were not looking for more (isn’t that how it always starts smh). Anywhoo we dated and had a blast, he was consistent, a great listener, and we legit had a solid friendship. He even took me out in the daylight this situationship might end up going somewhere after all right??? Wrong.
As lovely as things were I began to notice a few things. I never met any of his friends, I saw a couple in passing and at one point he has a roommate but I never truly met them. There was NEVER (over a few years) any significant interaction with friends; naturally family was also figments of my imagination based off photos and stories. There was no talk of the future and he tended to disappear randomly. One day I did the “status check,” you know the talk about where this was going in a nutshell I was told nowhere. But I was caught up so I opted to stay at status quo. He was going through some things and he needed time to grow. I’d just wait it out. LADIES NEVER WAIT IT OUT!!!
My “wait it out” lasted about 4 years… Now let me be clear, I’m a pimp by blood not relation so Nique-Nique was not twiddling her thumbs she had dates on deck and I fully enjoyed the liberties of being a single girl but I always had a myself on freeze (Think the song from LL Cool J and Lyfe Jennings. BTW I hate that song that that’s another story for another day). I mean he was a great guy educated, great listener, thoughtful, funny, disciplined (I am NOT lol), consistent, and childless. 4 years later I was now doing the “objective check” basically a revamped status check. “Where is this going? Should I move on?” LADIES NEVER DO THIS EITHER. Every time I had this conversation I gave away my power and probably encouraged the relationship to stay stagnant. It is ideal for any man an available, attractive, educated, attentive, childless woman who is waiting for you to choose her despite the fact that she knows you’re doing you.
I want to remind you that you are a prize and should never have to wait on a man. Know your worth and know that are truly more fish in the sea. Enjoy the sea before someone catches you up as their favorite dish. Part of how I stayed in that space for so long was because of fear that he was such a great guy and I would be missing out on a good thing. UHH HELLO I eventually realized I was just as much of a good thing and deserve to have someone think of me the same way. If things are meant to work out they will so keep it moving and if it doesn’t work out it wasn’t for you anyway.